Who needs enemies?

Who needs them when you have the friends that I have?

Yeah, I guess you can say it’s some sort of contradiction when in my profile it says that my friends and family are my life. But apparently – I’m no longer welcome or needed in their social circle. I guess it’s hard to wedge yourself in with people that love to drink and take pills every weekend and then shag each other. Yes – My group consists mainly of girls... so you can see why I feel left out; being straight and all.
Not all of them are like it, the ones taking pills are straight, but they’re so doped up/drunk that you can’t speak to them anyways, that, and they usually have a tongue down their “boyfriend’s” throat or their head down a bog, it isn’t exactly polite to be disturbing them at that ‘crucial’ bonding time now is it? So I sit there, drink in hand thinking: “Why?” I believe I just fill the numbers, add to the drink and overall just there to inhale smoke and die an early, BORING, death. But they wonder why I sit in the corner? Well, with that in mind it’s also HARD to join in a conversation when they have their backs to you, or so engrossed in touching each other up, if I was dancing naked to the Macarena with only my socks as an accessory, I wouldn’t even get a peep out of them. I have tried, but I guess trying isn’t worth it in the end.

I suppose you could ask why I still ‘hang’ with these people when I have nothing in common with them, or the fact they have made it clear I’m not really wanted? Well, I’m a stubborn cow like that I guess, and I believe that it’ll go back to the old days. We used to be close, why not now?

What I don’t understand either is my ‘friends’ that are idolising Katy Perry and Russell Brand at the minute... They’ve been together 8 months, and already they’re engaged and getting married in December. OK. What do you have in common other than ‘shagging’? I suppose his penis and your vagina will be very happy together, so long as she doesn’t become unreliable and boring (like me) resulting in no sex. You’re still in a honeymoon period!!!
The best bit about it is, they’re getting married so they can date. I’m being serious when I tell you this. He’s off to the army, and apparently, the only way they can be together is by being married. Hmm...
Also, if I’m such a bad friend, why is she asking me to sacrifice my only source of income by telling me to skip work so that I can attend a sham wedding such as hers? And to be even more poignant, so that she can get money out of me to fund it, and so that I can ‘add’ to the wedding when she’s already given the privileges that I can offer to other people that have MORE time on their hands because they sit at home and claim from the state.

I’m winging again, I know. But I needed to get it off my chest. I just hate how people can be so two faced now days. At least they know this, I’ve already told them. Maybe that’s why I’m such a bad friend, because I don’t sugar coat the truth? Maybe I’m so bad because I don’t have the money to go out at the weekend and spend it on alcohol and drugs? Maybe I’m so bad because I sit back and watch my friend flash and degrade herself on the internet while her fiancée and baby are at home, just so she can get that little bit of extra attention she’s craving? Or maybe I’m such a bad friend for always being there when they needed a shoulder to cry on, or money to get by.

I’m shit. Just say it. But at least I did try. I didn’t just freeze them out and bitched about them behind their backs for something they caused. Why didn’t they just ask me what was going on? Maybe there’s a reason I’m not so fun anymore. Maybe being depressed and having NO ONE to talk to just isn’t a good enough of excuse anymore for not downing that keg! I try. I fail. Why bother?

Give me a good reason.